Pain, Hurt, Suffering......

My life has been an all inclusive vicious and endless cycle of hurt..... I have experienced pain in a myriad of different forms; psychologically, physically, emotionally..... Each one hurts in a different way.... each one takes a different form.... Through the years of analyzing, over thinking, and trying to escape all the suffering I have stumbled upon a question that I have repeatedly asked myself, but can never come up with a sure answer for. Of all the various types of hurt I have experienced, which one is the worst, which is the most painful? In order to try and come up with a clear response to this question I am going to use generalized ideas and breakdown each form of pain as I personally know, feel, and understand it; with the hopes that I may finally be able to answer my question....

Physical pain, no matter the form, is usually always temporary. There are extreme cases in which people get seriously maimed or permanently injured and suffer excruciating pain daily for the remainder of their lives, but for the purpose of this blog we are going to refer to physical pain in a generalized temporary sense. Both psychological and emotional pain are much more intense and damaging than physical pain. Emotional and psychological pain can be coupled together in the sense that they both commonly generate negative lifelong consequences, therefore.... physical pain is immediately ruled out as being the most painful.... it is when I begin trying to choose between the emotional and psychological forms that I begin to flounder.

When breaking down emotional and psychological pain I find myself having a hard time clearly separating the two. They are distinctly different yet correlated together as well. From my own perspective and experience, psychological pain seems to be my primary trigger element, and the emotional pain is my reaction to the psychological trigger. My psychological pain controls and affects my thinking process and my patterns of behavior. I do my absolute best to avoid people, relationships, and social situations because I have been tremendously wounded by the dishonest and disingenuous behavior of my previous relationships. I trust no one, and I often feel completely misunderstood and disconnected from the world and society that encompass me.

Emotional pain is different in the sense that it does not control your behavior or your thinking process. Emotional pain is typically the result of being reminded, having thoughts of, or having flashbacks of a painful experience. This is where, for me, the line between the psychological and the emotional begins to blur. Is it possible to experience emotional pain without first being psychologically triggered? Innumerable times I can remember being in the shower (my secret escape) on my knees, broken, and sniveling..... feeling as if I am unhurriedly dying inside..... I reflect, I ask myself, is it the psychological pain or the emotional pain that I feel ripping my soul from me?

I feel I have finally arrived at a judgement on this topic that I am utterly satisfied with. After the generalized analysis of both psychological and emotional pain I have finally answered the question I have been asking myself for so long..... Of all the various types of hurt I have experienced, which one is the worst, which is the most painful? Undoubtedly the answer is psychological hurt, it is the foundation of all suffering. It is the psychological twinge that is accountable for the evoking of the emotional pain. It is the psychological pain which possesses all the control.